Parenting

Things To Tell A Child Apart From Saying ‘don’t Cry’

What if whenever your child cries or tantrums, they’re actually doing something highly worthwhile? we do not always appreciate it when our youngsters begin to cry, but what they’re actually doing is making use of the body’s innate recovery system. once we get hurt, physically or emotionally, rather than storing it all up in our bodies as tension, we will make use of crying, laughter, raging or trembling. this is often how the body processes and releases feelings. Most folks don’t do that often, having being told “Don’t cry” since we were small, but our youngsters still have their recovery system intact.

The best news is that each one of our children’s difficult or ‘off track’ behaviour is driven by emotion and once they get to use your good, warm attention to dump out these feelings, you get your angel back. By actively encouraging our youngsters to cry once they got to , they not only get to shed hurt feelings, they find yourself feeling more connected to us also . The way we listen can either shut feelings down, or help children to feel what they’re feeling more fully. Here are belongings you can tell listen well.

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General reassuring phrases:
1. I’m right here
2. I see how upset you’re
3. I’m sorry this is often hard, Love
4. i will be with you while you’re upset
5. I’m not going anywhere
6. you’re safe
7. There’s nothing more important than being with you immediately
8. I’m sorry… you lost your lamby/your friend said that/you dropped your frozen dessert
9. I hear you Sweetheart

Drawing attention repeatedly back to the facts that are driving the upset:
10. you actually wanted…that toy/some ice cream/daddy to remain home/to attend the park
11. That…dog/kid/ride/the way I shouted scared you
12. Let’s have another check out your hurt…knee/finger/toe

Holding a limit round the situation (and taking note of the protests):
13. i can not allow you to …go to that party/hit her/have that treat/play with my glasses
14. i want you to…put your shoes on/finish your homework/get within the car now

Reminding them of the hopeful perspective on things (and taking note of their hopeless response):
15. you will get chocolate again soon
16. i do know you’ll figure this all out
17. Mummy is returning later
18. I’m sure you’ll still have an honest time
19. You’ll do exactly fine with the tshirt we’ve
20. It won’t be like this forever

Try to avoid:
Labelling feelings (“I see you’re angry”)
Distracting them from feelings (“Shall we go and see what Daddy’s doing?”)
Fixing things (“I know you would like frozen dessert , let’s attend the shop”)
Reasoning (“Well, you probably did have frozen dessert yesterday”)
Making their feelings wrong through scolding/shaming/shushing (“What’s that awful noise you’re making?”)
Rewards or punishments including threats/bribes/time out (“If you do not stop that we’ll go home”)

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